My story so far........:)

This blog is being created by me to chronicle what I am being told is the last 12 months that I will have t0 live and walk around on this earth. Thank you to being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at the tender age of 50 years young. (I really thought I would have longer to annoy those I love lol) anyway, I will try to let you all know how treatment that is being planned for me pannes out, and if I get really sick or not from the chemo. I have had 10 treatments of radiation over the past week, and feel fabulous sept for the fact that my throat it red raw and my neck burned like I have been sitting in the sun for the past month with no protection whatsover lol. I and told this will subside in about a week, in the mean time pain killers and throat lozengers are working quite well. You see I woke up about 2 months ago with what I thought was a sore neck from sleeping funny on it YIKES yeah how wrong was I. The power of annoying your doctor till you get the tests you want done etc. Most docs would have just fobbed you off and told you to take an asprin and get a life lol.
Well what turned out to be two months later and 10 days in a city hospital far far far away from my loved ones all on my own, was testiment to the fabulous doctors and specialists there. They figured it out after a barrage of tests, you name it I had it, well worth it though, at least I was given an answer for my woes, not the one I wanted albeit but was given and answer, you know the C word, like OMG don't mention the C word lol.

Its funny being back home in the country, all my friends were a bit apprehensive about my attitude towards my newly found status, (I have come to terms with it) nothing I can change about the diagnosis or the treatment plan, but friends are not sure how to approach me , they do not know what to say to me, now this I can fully understand, I am the one living with this, I get to deal with it everyday, so once they know my attitude on the C word, they know how to treat me. I talk openly about dying etc, and the fact that I may not be here for much longer.

I bore them with the details of my impending funeral, what I want to be dressed in etc, the flowers I want, Yes I want flowers, I like flowers, I want tuberoses, they smell divine, I dont want donations in leiu of flowers, I like flowers sorry I make no bones about this, I have donated plenty to lots of causes over the years, so I like to think that some of my hard earned money has gone into the finding of some of hte treatment that I am now undergoing. Heavens knows hubby had dontated to the cancer foundation for many a year, not knowing that his dearly beloved child sweetheart would be in need on their help some day lol.

I do feel a little sorry for him though, he is not taking it so well, nor is my very sensitive adult son (29) yes he is nearly 29 and is quite a sensitive youngun, he is an only child, and I really do think he secretly loves his mum lol, though he wont admit to it, but i know it is true. :)
Because I dont look sick (yet) or have any symptoms, it seems to be not real to them, I am still fit and healthy and doing most of the t hings that I was dooing b4 diagnosis, though I have been told to be very caureful of my neck, you see a tumor popped out of hte nerves in my neck, between the c5 and c6 vetibrae in my neck, so there fore the radiation has made my neck very weak as well, and I;m not sposed to lift anything or do any heavy work, like housework etc, now that I can handle lol,
I have tidied up my huge huge huge craft room, to some sort of order that I can work i n here, on anything I take a fancy to on the day, be it sewing, painting, dollshouse building , card making, or just generally wasting time on here (the net)

I did sew a cushion up last night, no sleep again, i am doing that a lot lately, staying up all night, oh well must get in all the time i can I spose, plenty of time to rest (later) if ya know what I mean.